It’s difficult, isn’t it? Realising that it’s time to move on and simply let go of the things you once held so dear. Maybe it’s a lover, maybe it’s a toxic parent, maybe it’s a broken friendship, maybe it’s a loyal pet struggling to survive. Or maybe it’s a machine that’s been with you through thick and thin, like an old Television that you’ve watched your favourite shows on since before you could walk. It doesn’t matter. Your knuckles go white with the holding on, simply because you’re worried about the empty space letting go will leave. But then once you do, you realise how much easier your life has become, how much easier building your future has become.
1. You keep going back to the past because the present hurts you so much.
What if a year ago, even a few months ago, things were completely different? What if a year ago, you actually smiled without feeling it stretch painfully across your face? What if a year ago you were actually happy? But then that was a year ago. Locked away in the past, barely seeping into the future. But you still hold on to it, feeding off its crumbs, convincing yourself that it’ll keep you satiated and alive.
But here’s the thing: it won’t. Your hungry heart deserves to be fed with love. Don’t let your beautiful past take away a beautiful present.
2. Every conversation has an ‘if’ and a ‘maybe’- there’s a condition for everything.
Everytime you try to make amends, to take things back to the way they were, your efforts are met with a conditions apply tag. As if your heart isn’t a beating mass of muscle, but a contract to be dutifully avoided. There’s always a deal- “if” this happens, then “that” will happen. There’s no surity, cracks exist in the foundation, and every step feels like it could topple everything you worked so hard for, down.
3. And the trust, is ultimately broken.
I’m going to sound HORRIBLY cliched here, but every important relationship in life, heck, everything that holds even a tiny place in your mosaic heart, is built on trust. Maybe y’all had great conversations, maybe you could talk about anything: trust comes in different shades. And the moment you’ve lost that, lost whatever rock solid truth your relationship was built on, that’s when you’ve finally got to give your tired hand some rest, and let go. Don’t let that broken trust define and ruin you. Find a new truth, give yourself another chance.
4. You know you could have a better future if only you let go, but you never let yourself imagine it.
Deep down inside, you know that simply allowing yourself to begin the process of moving will lift those heavy boulders off your shoulders. But you’re afraid. You’re afraid of change, of starting afresh. And it doesn’t have to be a person. It can literally be anything, anything that’s letting you down- clothes, phones, machines. Maybe it’s a fridge that’s older than you but your mom’s holding on to it. Maybe it’s that television you grew up watching your favourite cartoons on, or that washing machine your mom used to wash your school uniform. They make noises begging to be turned off every time you turn them on. But you convince yourself that buying a new one will take too much of time and effort, while Flipkart is available to give you the great prices, warranties, brands, and easy deliveries. Accept that things can, and should get better. Don’t punish yourself for something that isn’t your fault.
5. You’ve become used to broken promises and disappointment- you’ve accepted your unhappiness.
Here’s the thing: your heart isn’t supposed to survive in unhappiness. It wasn’t built to live in an environment so hostile. We glorify making it through the storms, those rough patches, so much, that we forget: unhappiness isn’t a habit. A storm isn’t something you’re to experience so much, that it makes your body its home. There is no shame in giving yourself a chance at happiness, at promises kept.
6. You’re always struggling to keep peace, and even your efforts end in a fight.
You’ll paint a smile across your face even if all you want to do is curl and make an ocean of your tears. You’ll swallow your words, choke on them just because you’re afraid of what will happen if they come tumbling out. And despite you, literally killing bits of yourself to keep it alive, your efforts often end in a shouting match. This isn’t normal, my dear. Life isn’t supposed to be a series of angry words and burning hot tears. Don’t let this become your normal, you deserve so much more.